Color-lust

So in today’s image obsessed society I’ve noticed a growing trend that I find disturbing. Inter-racial relationship. Now I’m assuming that you think this is an article about how black men need to love their own women and how this trend is destroying our race, I can assure you that this is not one of those soap box rants. I am in an inter-racial relationship, my girlfriend I white and I am black. We love each other and just so happen to be different colors. A lot of people would claim the same thing but my observations have lead me to believe otherwise. In many ways society as a whole has gotten past the separation of races and seeing an interracial couple is not something new at all. I myself have been in several interracial relationships as have many of my friends and family members. So what’s my issue you ask? My issue is that being in an interracial relationship has become “trendy”. Becky strolling downtown with Jamal on her arm, she a white girl from the sub-burbs who loves listening to drake and learning how to be a white girl that can twerk, while he is the sensitive thug from the wrong side of the tracks who hopes his rapping or sports career will take him to the top. You just had an “oh I see” moment didn’t you? We see this all over Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and in a lot of music videos. An image of this perfect interracial couple comprised of two people loving each other because of superficial and often fake reason. I feel that nothing is worst then people seeking out people to fulfill a fantasy. I can’t even begin to recall how many times I’ve heard “Will you take me to your hood one day?” “I bet you think white girls can’t dance?” “People say I have a big ass for a white girl.” “I only date black guys because white guys are boring.” To be honest these statements make me sick. So because I’m black I’m from the hood or I’m impressed that you can do a dance you learned from a YouTube tutorial. So in your eyes that’s all it takes and now I’m going to sweep you away in my Lamborghini I just bought with the money I got from a feature I did on my cousins mixtape. LOLing. Okay but it would be unfair for me to be one sided about this, after all it takes two to tango right? To my black men out there that seek out white girls that are looking for this fantasy with the intentions of putting on an academy award nomination worthy performance to get with them. Black men that pretend to be thugs, ballers, or some other generic music video term. Quite simply it’s pathetic. Many times these same men have wives or girlfriends but want a white “side chick”. She does as she is told he can have her when he wants no questions asked. And don’t get it twisted she isn’t single but he is. The reason I’m even writing about this is due to the fact that people are getting hurt playing make-believe. We all have emotions and desires and when it comes to a relationship emotions and desires aren’t usually seen easily from the surface. I challenge you to dig deeper into this. Ladies how long do you intend to put on this act? What will happen come time to meet your parents? Gentlemen same question for you? Or is that so far out of the question you are getting nervous just thinking about it? Any good parent wants what is best for their child and im sure they can tell when a relationship is made up of two people fantasizing. I love my girlfriend and I hope to one day make her my wife but imagine then if we were in a “trendy” inter racial relationship. How would I react when my girlfriend, who was raised on a farm, wants to go running around barefoot in the grass just for fun? Or how does she react to my family that spend an entire Sunday in church….every week. How would it look if I kept turning down chances to meet her family because in my mind I knew she is a side chick? How will she feel when she keeps seeing girls with bigger and nicer butts then the one she has and they want my attention? Anyone else noticing the inevitable disaster that will take place? I say all of this to come to this point. Love is color-less not color-lust. Being attracted to someone because of appearance is not wrong its part of who we are, but building a fantasy about a person based how they look and expecting them to live up to that is wrong! I love the many differences I have with my girlfriend and I can assure you as we have gotten to know each other our skin color seems to be the least of our differences. I love her because of who she is and she loves me because of who I am, although our skin color is a part of who we are it’s not all of who we are. Don’t short change yourself ladies and gentlemen! Don’t buy into this trendy relationship idea when your heart is on the line. Get to know someone past what you see on the outside and never be ashamed of who and what you are. Whether you are with someone of the same or different race you should never be putting on an act. If you like Hip-Hop or Heavy Metal you should not be ashamed of it or feel like you need to buy into some image to impress someone who is doing the same thing. What matters is being with someone that will grow with you, love you, forgive you, and except you. And you have to be willing to give and do the same for them..